We can seek out and cultivate this stress in our lives, and help our friends and family do the same. Interestingly, distress/eustress is defined not by the stressor type, but rather by how a stressor is perceived (e.g. as a threat or a challenge). This can be most easily seen in ‘play’ behaviors–meant to mimic real-life stressors in a safe, controlled setting. Exposure to stress and eustress in childhood years can help kids develop skills and coping strategies for dealing with distress.
The Therapeutic Powers of Play explains that “The interplay between our thoughts, individualized biological and neurological reactions, and environment results in large variations in our responses to situations perceived as stressful.” On the other hand, ‘toxic stress’ is the result is the result of strong, frequent or prolonged activation of the body’s stress responses systems in the absence of the buffering protection of a positive relationship with a friend, coach, teacher, counselor, or family member.
Individuals in these roles can help to set up small, predictable stressors which dissipate quickly, providing opportunities to “practice coping skills rather than exhaust them, thereby creating a more resilient, flexible stress response capacity.”